Thursday, February 11, 2016

I Am SOOOO Frustrated!

To say the least.

I use Microsoft Live Writer to draft my post.

Apparently somewhere along the journey, passwords and usernames have gotten changed and no matter what I do I can't get Live Write to recognize my log in information and connect to my blog.

I am so computer stupid sometimes! I use to be able to comprehend such things but lately, it seems like it's over my head. It's just got to be something simple! But for the life of me, I just can't figure it out.

I liked the Live Writer because I can work on post off line. Click the save for later or publish tab and done. I love how I can manipulate photo's and the layout of a post. Not knowing it wouldn't connect, I have a dozen or so projects in the draft stage. Now I'll have to copy and paste I guess!

I tried seeing about deleting the program and start from scratch but there are many Microsoft programs, I have no idea which one.

I hate to bug our company computer guru, but I think it's time. Or I am just going to throw this laptop against the wall!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


I got so excited about LOVE I completely overlooked my draft on Lent, in fact I have been over looking a lot of my drafts. 

At the beginning of the year I started a number of drafts with topics I wanted to blog about, with the hope of posting more regularly. Day after day I would add a title here and there, maybe a paragraph or two, but a lot of them were not pleasing for me to hit the publish button. 

With 3 only post published last month, I have already doubled my production for February. Could this be a sign I am getting back into the groove. 

With Lent here, it's time to get my groove on with God too! If you want, pop on over to My Journey Through Bible Study, for this years 40 Day Challenge with Margaret Feinberg.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

I'm Positively, Positive...

...that after 40 years, I LOVE with this man more....

Even when we were at our worst, I STILL LOVED him! I would do what ever was needed to be done in order to resolve the issues so not to let them destroy what we had.

There was always room for forgiveness, sometimes from one or the other or from both of us. Understanding always got us back to why we loved each other to begin with. Compassion for each other when one is in so much pain, so stressed out, to the bone tired sometimes. Show respect, so he can show love, so when you feel loved, you can respect. It was our way of getting off the CRAZY cycle.

Our lives seem to thrive on the roller coaster and having the tools of this book, makes the ride more enjoyable.

Difficult times will always be a part of all relationships. Sometimes difficult times call for difficult measures. They will also be different in all relationships. Each one must be handled individually and not be compared too or stacked up onto other things. I am by no means an expert on the topic of relationships, I am an expect at our relationship though. I know what works for us. I don't know what will work for you. I do know there are many resources available today then there were 30 years ago. There is no reason not to KNOW how to FIX the problem.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

"You Were Only Waiting For This Moment To Arise..."

Wasn't expecting to write a post so soon, nor was I expecting anything so extraordinary to happen this weekend.

Hubby asked if I was feeling up to some breakfast, but unfortunately I had to decline one of his BIG breakfast but I would go for a couple pieces of toast. After he brought it to me, I asked what that noise was. He turned down the TV and said it was the birds. Said he was hearing it in the kitchen and took a minute to figure it out.

Well I didn't need another minute to figure out I wanted to see what kind of birds were singing so loudly. Setting my toast side, I got up and went out to see...

It was like my own National Wildlife Refuge or Bird Sanctuary! It lasted about 45 minutes to an hour. They would fly from tree to tree and at one point had used our neighbors newly irrigated pasture as a big bird bath.


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Hello February!

I've been waiting for you! I'm so excited for that one extra day you give us every 4 years. Whatever will I do with it?  

I think I am a bit more excited that our insurance took effect on the 1st, wahoo!

Its also the perfect month to check-up on the HEART! 

Actually we made it a point to begin with the heart once we acquired insurance. It just so happened to be this month, or just maybe it was pure grace. I am opt to believe the latter. From here on out, February will be my bi-annual Heart Check-up Month. As for the gift of grace, I'll embrace it. Let it comfort me, while I continue with my baby steps.

Over the last several months, with grief aside, my heart just hadn't been feeling all that great and we've been monitoring some pretty high blood pressure. Add in the results of the carotid artery stuff, how we will be moving forward called for a good sound pumper of life. Before my first appointment last fall, I was really scared I was going to be admitted immediately. Instead he assured us the blockage is considered mild, control the blood pressure with the medications, and any side effects from the medications are better then a stoke. With medication prescribed we walked out that day with confidence and a direction.  

Imagine my JOY, when at my very 1st appointment yesterday as an insured patient, the doctor tells me my heart is just fine. Continue taking the medications and he'll see me in a couple years.

SERIOUSLY! Can I get a great big, PRAISE GOD!

If I wasn't so sick with a this darn cold it would have been a perfect time for a celebration. For the 1st appointment to go so well was awesome. I can only hope the one on the 11th goes just as well too. There will be a lot to go over, but each step will get us to the next, and then the next, and so forth.

Could it be...

Slowly I have been seeing His Fingerprints again. I have always loved seeing them before. I knew it would take time for me to see them again. They were there back before and after Aggie died. I embraced them on the road trip to Orcas. However, I ignored them after my heart was broken, and then I refused to ever look for them or see them ever again. It was like I was throwing a temper tantrum of sorts! Something needed to happen, it just needed time.

So what does he do, He reminds me of a time the "Grands'" and I made some pictures of our fingerprints....

He is awesome like that! All we have to do is open our eyes and take the time to see where they all are, cause they are almost everywhere in our lives. They're on the moments we will take with us to eternity and leave behind at the same time. 

We take in His awesome scenery each time we travel the same road to the Gilbert/Mesa area, which seems like about every month lately. We always take a back road called Dead Cow Road. Actually it is called the 238 between Gila Bend and Maricopa. It takes you right through the Sonoran Desert National Monument. There are so many saguaro cactus I bet I get a different picture each time. I've gotten pictures of them blooming, in so many sunsets, even in a mist of fog after a rain (I looked for some time for that photo, it must be on storage). Speaking of rain, we have had to drive through flowing washes, praise God for having an SUV, we saw other cars having to turn around. W have seen many, many lightening storms, I think the coolest thing we saw was the Ringling Brothers Circus Train. I so wanted to stop, but there is never time on the way over. We actually see lots of trains and along one section they are right off to the right and you can see the engineer driving! It's a beautiful area where Gods fingerprints are everywhere and only a few of mans. It has become one of my favorite drives, other then the drive to the Cibola National Wildlife Refuge that is.

Last weekend we had the opportunity to take a couple of the "Grand's" to a Civil War Reenactment at the Quartermaster Depot State Historic Park. Unfortunately it was the beginning of a cold someone shared with me and I didn't really walk around a whole bunch. The "Grand's" had a great time and enjoyed the battle. The asked many questions and wanted to know how so many things worked. It didn't take them long to keep an eye out on the guys and cannons as to when they were done reloading and ready to fire. Helped them prepare for the BANG!

Time will and does heal, and along the way we'll continue finding other ways of bringing more of these moments to life so that they too will be a part of Our Journey Through LIFE!

PS: I had saved a bunch of toilet paper rolls before Christmas for a kid craft that never happened. Lately there are post landing on my FB page of Valentines...I think I know what we can do with them. I see maybe a kids craft day just might be happening this coming Grandma Wednesday.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Adventure Of A Lifetime

Ever since I heard their new video, I just knew I wanted to use it in my blog somehow, or sometime.
What better time then at the beginning of the year. 
At the beginning of yet another adventure of a lifetime!

Everything you want's a dream away

A journey for me isn't about traveling to just a place or going on a vacation. A journey can also be about our every day lives. There is a beginning and an end, and it will surely include lessons from the past, experiences of the present, and dreams for the future. It's through life, through sickness and in health, through good times and bad. Through riches and through debt. Life is one big journey, a series of adventures within it, creating one big, wonderful, awesome life with so many seasons!

Under this pressure, under this weight. We are diamonds...

During our 40 years together, the dreams, the adventures, the roads, to even the challenges, contributed to it being our adventure of a lifetime, Our Journey Through LIFE!. I wouldn't have wanted to gone through it with any else. Looking back on our journey, there is not a single thing I would want to change or do different. To think I thought differently at one time or another along the way. What ever was I thinking? What if I had given up. Given in to the opinions of others. Why did I stop listening or seeing what Gods plan was for me? Why, became the aha Oprah talks so often about. It was always right there in front of me, yet I was so distracted by what this crazy world was throwing at me. Oh, and to top it off, I was the one catching it. Seriously! What was I thinking? I know I wasn't thinking of God. I was to busy!  

Said I can't go on, not in this way...

Difficult times called for difficult choices. As much as I would like to go back and change those times or those choices, it would then change the present. That just won't do. I LOVE were I am. I LOVE my hubby. I LOVE my children and the grandchildren they have given me. I LOVE the family and friends around me.

We are diamonds taking shape...

And yes, I have always LOVED God, but I began learning to LOVE Jesus. 

Over the last several years I began focusing more on who God was and why He sent His only Son for us, and for me! Really, me! Sure being raised Catholic, I was taught of Him but never really knew Him. I had some awesome women set outstanding example of faith, and I admired them, but to be like them, I was not sure I ever could. I received all His sacraments the church required, but it was more like I was doing what was expected, not because I wanted to. I remember wanting to be at other churches, (introduced by neighbors) singing and celebrating, making things while learning about Him, VBS in the 60's was so much fun! Oh, but that was not allowed. I soon learned to just go through the steps, and do as I was told. As an adult, I was able to make my own choices for my own faith. As lost as I was, He knew just where i was and put the right people along my path. Each time all the lessons and words of the bible effected me, encouraged me for that season, then down the road something else changed the path. There was never any real leaps and bounds until that first bible study some 40 plus years later. "Gods Greatest Gift to Women, Jesus" was my first encounter with actual bible study. Learning how to read the bible, along with doing homework, was new to me. It grabbed me from the very first night. The more I learned of Him, the closer I got. The closer I got, the more I learned. I am still learning!

Just because I didn't take some of those GIANT steps, it didn't mean I wasn't moving forward. The steps for me are and have always been different then they would be for someone else. Sometimes I walked side by side with Him. Sometime I am walking behind Him. Sometimes I can't keep up with Him. Sometimes He can't keep up with me running away. Sometimes I lead the parade. Sometimes I ride in one. Sometimes I still feel as if I am walking alone. Sometimes I just want to stop. Sometimes no matter the steps, good, bad, sad, or happy, big or baby steps, they all had me right where I was suppose to be then and they have me right where I am suppose to be now. I am NEVER alone! I don't ever plan to stop looking for and doing what ever it takes to enjoy our journey. It will always include bible studies that will help me grow in the way God plans.

If we've only got this life...

Yesterday, was a good example of what He has done within me. I had my first dance with the insurance company. My first reaction was to throw in the towel, raise my hands, and forget it, just cancel all my appointments. Instead, Pause, Pray, and Reflect. Just BREATHE! was the time to test those steps, to trust and have faith in the ones already in place for just this reason. For this season!

Seems now that I have insurance, I need a referral to the cardiologist I started seeing last year. OK, no problem, we'll just get that set up. Nope, it just can't be that easy. If it was hubby being referred, no problem. However, because I had been seeing the doctor since 2007, so I am established under his old TI#. Hubby being a new patient, got set up under his new TI#. Each time the girls in both offices changed his number on my account, once the page was refreshed it went back to default. By the end of the day, all three ladies sounded like they were at their wits ends. I don't blame them. Problem was being turned over to a supervisor who had the tech knowledge needed. As it turns out, since the fall or there about, both offices have been having these issues. Pointing out the TI#'s will not only resolve our issues, but also others who have been having the same problem. I heard the opportunity to bless them for their jobs. Asking God to take the burden, present it it to those who can resolve it, and be patient, worked. I am so thankful my daughter has the grace and the Holy Spirit within her to deal so professionally with people within this system. I am improving, but remember, I still take baby steps. At the same time, the extra steps and understanding the others girls had all day needed some of the glory too. The best part, I didn't come across as some crazy old lady, LOL!

I'm so inspired by what Beth Moore recently said on her new TV program, "I'm going to have the Guts and Glory!... Yes, I'm scared to death!...That is Audacity!" That was yesterday!

"We want to be great and mighty in our War Rooms, but not have to deal with dirty underwear in our wash rooms!" What a hoot she is!

I'm reminded of my favorite saying from back in the beginning of this sometimes spiraling spiritual journey, "It's their junk in their trunk" and "Crap belongs in a toilet, flush it!". I learned I needed to close my gate to my garden. To many weeds had been brought in. If your not here to help me tend it, please don't give me more work to do. Really. I know that sounds way out there but seriously, between the voices in my head (the ones we all have while deciding what is right or wrong ones) and the voices of others, it became a raging war that changed the scenery! I not only had to close my gate again, I even had to let the garden die! Yep, no water, no life! No problem! That is some DEEP pain to admit, but in order to get above, sweeping it under a carpet isn't going to help. However, the possibility of tilling the garden with it, just might make things grow better.
Will I have the "Guts" to open that garden up again? Will I have the "Glory" when I see the seeds planted begin to grow again? Oh, Lord Jesus, I sure hope so!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Working on those 'i's' & 't's'

Remember my New Years resolution...
The morning started with me looking for some clip-art to begin this post with. I totally believe whatever will be this year, will be. When I found this one, it was like the perfect one to use.

Talk about a flood of memories one picture of a dandelion can create!

Last years road trip to Orcas Island covered 4200 plus miles and I captured over 2400 photos of the journey. There were times we had to stop along the Scenic Byway 12 so hubby could deal with some business on the phone. That's when I would get out of the car to stretch my legs and capture more of the beautiful scenery around me. While stopped at the top of the summit, I couldn't get over how BIG these dandelions were! They were the size of a baseball. No kidding! I just had to see about making a wish with one! Oh boy, it could be a real BIG wish! As it turned out it became more of a prayer. I remember I said something to God about how He created the dandelion and to take these seeds of wishes and dreams and plant them then along my path. Then I needed a BIG breath to help all those tender seeds to go flying up. It was by no means a coincidence! 

I remember feeling a breeze swoop over me just as I was about to exhale all the breath I could muster, offering me the help I needed to not leave a single seed behind. I was just in awe of the feeling and my surroundings, not just at the moment but the whole trip. It was a once in a life time view of our beautiful country. I embraced so many moments of that journey. Grief can bring many things, but on that summit, at that very moment, a calm had come over me. 

Fast forward to today. I was preparing to write this post about the 'i's' dotted and 't's' crossed so far this year, only to be reminded of why God gave me that moment. Though I can't divulge exactly what my entire wish/prayer consisted of, I can say part of my prayers have been answered in the way of...


2016 was to be the year and here it is. I must add that I am also very thankful for my daughter who did ALL the 'i' dotting and 't' crossing for me. I love her and her brothers so much. A while back, my son had posted on Facebook;

"For the first 18 years of your life, your parents provide medical insurance for you. And most do. As their child, you should be allowed to put them on your insurance for the last 18 years of theirs. Just saying. I wish I could take care of my parents like they took care of me."

As I continue to age and they continue to grow into these awesome adults, I tear up often over the littlest moments like that. 

I never thought I would have seen as much as I have and with insurance I might have just been given even more time. Time to take care of things only insurance would allow. Being a cash patient had it's benefits when things were progressing slowly, but once it got to the point it is now, treatment is needed for more quality time.  It will be a different time, but time all the same. Medications will create change, but welcomed and hopefully will remain manageable. Surgeries will be difficult, not to mention scary, and will also create change. Even the recovery will create change. Over the last couple years, I have been praying and preparing for the changes insurance could inevitably bring. I welcome the changes and will continue to watch for everything Gods plan has to show me. With Him, all things ARE possible! 

Our Journey Through LIFE continues 

Friday, January 1, 2016

Day One, It All Starts Here...

Who else stayed home last night?

We haven't done the party thing in a couple years.


And that was with these 4 wonderfully, happy faces.

I was even in bed before 10 last night. 

Today's agenda:

Breakfast by Hubby
Rose Bowl Parade

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 31, 2015


...2015 has come to an end!

What a year it has been! 

I am so sorry I didn't get to blog about the last season of it. Fall was just that, a FALL from, Once Upon a Time! I really would have wanted to FALL anywhere but where we did. I seem to fall a lot, it seems to go along with the journey. Plus I would have never started this blog if I hadn't been falling. 

In between the tough times there were some great memories made. A family reunion in September was a blessing with so many cousins getting together and sharing some wonderful time together.

Our annual Boo Bash was canceled due to matters out of our control. Not only did our son who has bone cancer had to have his hip replaced at 34, but schedules just weren't working out this year. 

NASCAR was a blast. It rained giving us the first ever night race in November at Phoenix. What an experience!

Thanksgiving was quiet, with both feast tasting yummy! My daughter had dinner at her house this year and did an awesome job. Earlier in the month we got to spend time with the Mesa Grand's. It was hard to be Thankful, but how could we not? What kind of example would we be setting? 

Christmas time was different this year, yet festive while adding a few new traditions. I ordered in my tree this year and was pleasantly surprised. So much so we plan to do it again next year. Another was creating and being a part of our local Christmas Lights Parade. Since it began I have always wanted to do it and this was the year! We had so much fun we already have plans for next year.

We made it through the holidays without much fuss. I wasn't in the mood to create a Christmas Village as I have in years past but it was wonderful. We missed the 3 Grands who moved to Florida this summer, but with iPhones and Facetime we were able to fill in the blanks. 

Which brings us to the end of a year, and like most people I try to make new year resolutions. 
This time I am a bit lost.
The year did not present what we had thought it would.
Deaths change lives.
Courts change lives.
Moves change lives. 
2015 Resolutions were either lost or just fizzled away! 
Trying to make new ones for 2016 is difficult. 
So much is UP in the air!
Though 2014 brought some interesting opportunities for our life, 2015 marked our 40 years together. It was sure to be the year we could see them through. After all they've happened before, like in 1993-1994 when we trusted them and it brought us to Yuma, AZ. Then in 2003-2004 we were presented with another opportunity, and though it didn't go in the direction we thought it could be going, it reminded us of what we had and what was so important and what was still ahead.
So, when 2015 was just around the corner, I thought it was time to take another plunge and go after what I believe will be a big part of our next 25 years. 
Little did I know...
How many "T's" needed to be crossed, or even how many more "I's" there were that needed dotted. I still haven't gotten them all done and here I am, with the new year just hours away going over the next years resolutions. While I am banging the palm of my hand to my forehead for not getting them all done, I can however look back at what I did accomplish and got through this last year, all of which is allowing me to be right where I am.
Little did I know...
Sorrow would not only end our year, 
it also began the new year!

Losing Aggie was like losing the last link to my MIL.
Grief is a journey all it's own.

Little did I know...
There was more grief to come!

Uncle Bill!
No words are left.
Many were shared that day.
The journey to and from brought blessings.
Again, from the depth of my heart, there is a void...

Little did I know...

There was some change ahead!
Some was needed.
Some was unexpected. 
It was the unexpected that threw us for a loop!. 

Growth is LIFE, and a Journey is a Lifetime.

A journey can't become a journey until you take that very first step onto it.

(Along our journey this summer, I took many pictures of the roads we were on. They have become backdrops to many of my projects.)

Little did I know...
How many steps were needed 
to prepare for such a journey?

Our move 21 years ago only took 3 months to put together.

This time we have been working on it for over a year. 
This time we are not moving anywhere nor as fast.
This time we are adding, not deducting.
This time, like last time, God is in charge!
This time it won't be just one BIG step, but many different size and shaped steps as we continue...

 Our Journey Through LIFE!

As we wait to ring in the new year, my new year resolution is...

Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be.

Happy New Year!

Oh, and from now on you won't have to wait till I get around to posting to my blog. I am launching a Facebook page and attaching it to my blog. 
Please bear with me as I am new to this and afterall, I am and will probably always be "a work in progress". 

So much to learn on this journey!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

The EYE'S Have It!

She's keeping an eye on the kids!

He's keeping an eye on me!

And Riley, our daughter's newest addition, is keeping an eye on everything else!

Multiple grandma days before school starts made up for all the ones missed over the summer.
School starting brings back schedules, established routines, and "Grandma Wednesdays"!

Having some awesome days on "Our Journey Through LIFE!"


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